Date: 2nd September 2008 at 8:27am
Written by:

It seems when our esteemed owner is not making a total tool of himself live on Setanta, beclad in his super snug black and white top and necking pints of the Amber Nectar, he seems to be making outlandish claims about ‘wow` signings. Funnily enough there seemed to be only one club with the ‘wow` factor yesterday and it wasn`t based in NE1?

Ashley`s pledge to corporate sponsors has left him with a severe dose of Shepherditus, commonly known as foot in mouth syndrome. With our deadline day signings coming in the form of an unproven Spanish kid and a Uruguayan loanee I hope the bloke isn`t expecting fans to come flocking back for the Hull game in a wave of new found Geordie euphoria. Even the most optimistic fan can see we`re still horrendously exposed at left back and short of bodies all round.

What`s more embarrassing is the relegation of KK to a hollow face, a puppet on strings, of the new regime. It seems the Fat Controller and his cronies have complete control of who goes in and out, as seen by the Barton wheeling and dealing late last night and the Milner sale. My only surprise is that Owen is still here.

Can we honestly say two Argentinians, a Spaniard and a Uruguayan are typical Keegan signings? No sir. It seems the work of our two so-called world football experts Jeff Vetere and Tony Jiminez, with their extensive La Liga and Latin America contacts. KK has gone from five to two prospective signings in the matter of a week.

Ashley gave Keegan an alleged dressing down when he dared suggest fifth was the best we could hope for in the short to medium term. Given the spending and all round bonhomie of Villa and the new found wealth of Man City, top six seems a million miles away now. Lets hope the barrow boy takes that into consideration before making any more rash decisions.