Date: 16th July 2007 at 9:25am
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? Ronaldinho – don`t laugh! During out chitter-chatter with Barca of late we`ve asked them what it would take to prise the buck-toothed Brazilian away from the Nou Camp. In short? £58m. Mike`s chequebook swiftly went back into his jacket pocket;

? Lassana Diarra – has apparently rejected Chelsea`s latest contract offer and Sam wants to swoop for the bruising anchorman cum right back;

? Frank Signorino – ourselves and Wigan have inquired and held talks with Nantes about this left sided player. A left back from a relegated team? Dodgy ground;

? Peter Crouch – mentioned in despatches, but more likely to be on his way to Citeh. A simply laughable £20m fee mentioned in the NOTW;

? Aldo Duscher – sacked off after a day;

? Gabriel Heinze – being hounded by a host of Champions League clubs, making our chances of getting him slim to zero;

? Charles N`Zogbia – set to go all Oli Bernard on us and hand in a transfer request. If so I`d recommend him picking up a tape of Bernard`s career highlights since leaving SJP. Picks include relegation with Southampton, a cruciate knee injury whilst playing for the worst Gers team I can remember and then being rejected by Leeds and Sheffield United whilst on trial. Bonza career move;

? Wayne Bridge – looks to be out of the running after it was revealed he has a pelvic injury (oo-eerr) and will be out for three months.

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