Date: 27th March 2007 at 8:34pm
Written by:

General Cork urchin and complete heed-the-ball dog walker Royston Keane has decided that his new career line as outspoken gobsh*te seems to be paying dividends. Having earlier been compared to Arsene Wenger by time keeping expert Antony Stokes, friend of Triggs decided to lay into Shay Given for the heinous crime of, shock horror, wanting to play for his country. Given Roy`s immense patriotic values, such as walking out of the World Cup when his country needed him most, is he really the best spokesperson for this view. Also to consider is the fact that Shay probably got Keane to the 2002 World Cup with some barnstorming goalkeeping displays in the qualifiers. Still, here is what Wearside`s new favourite son had to say:

“I think players have agendas – certain players come over all the time no matter what. Maybe they want to get 50 or 100 caps and a pat on the back for it. I think Shay’s one of those ones – he wants to get 200 caps. Shay seems to have played every game – even friendlies. You have other keepers, who travel all the time. Then, when they do play, they’re taken off. I’ve always thought, when it comes to the lads who travel all the time, `give them a game’.”

About as much between the ears as Barry from Eastenders.