Date: 5th March 2009 at 7:17pm
Written by:

Here is a novel idea. How about we cast the Newcastle United players, and bankroom staff in Hollywood movies where they fit the best. Sounds simple enough, but it is much harder than you can imagine.

Let us consider the titles that best describes these men.

Here we go:


Steve Harper – Saved!

Steven Taylor – Clueless

Fabricio Coloccini – Walking Tall

Habib Beye – The Peacemaker

Sebastien Bassong – Sense and Sensibility

Jose Enrique – Raging Bull

Jonas Gutierrez – Spider-Man

Joey Barton – There Will Be Blood

Kevin Nolan – A History of Violence

Damien Duff – How to lose a Guy in 10 days

Danny Guthrie – The Recruit

Ryan Taylor – The Specialist

Alan Smith – Failure to Launch

Geremi – No Country for Old Men

Nicky Butt – The Usual Suspects

Michael Owen – Sicko

Obafemi Martins – The Dark Knight

Peter Lovenkrands – Universal Soldier

Shola Ameobi – Chicken Run

Andy Carroll – Fight Club

Mark Viduka – Oldboy


Joe Kinnear – Lost in Translation

Chris Hughton – Be Cool

Dennis Wise – Get Shorty


Mike Ashley – Run Fat Boy Run

Derek Llambias – Idiocracy

Suggestions welcome.