Date: 29th July 2008 at 6:51pm
Written by:

Having seen the matter of all speculation focused on the club since Barton`s release yesterday, generally featuring lesser terms of endearment such as ‘gutter`, ‘sewer`, ‘monster` and ‘cigar stubbed out in face`, the club moved to close off any further chatter on the subject with an abrupt statement this afternoon:

‘Newcastle United officials can confirm they have met with Joey Barton, following which it has been agreed by everyone involved that Joey will remain with the club. The club will not be making any further comment at this time.’

Moralists will shout from the rooftops but realists will be glad the club saw sense. Rehabilitation is the only way we`ll get any money or return back from the expensive Scouse Hannibal Lector and, with the club looking as attractive to new players as Vanessa Feltz spread-eagled this summer, we just need people who are capable of pulling on the shirt.

Loathe or loathe Barton at least he might keep his head down and do a job for us. Hopefully. Kev deserves some payback for his sheer persistence in sticking out this bugger of a summer.